Part three to my homeschooling series was to come out tonight but I haven’t finished writing it. I planned on finishing it after Jon got home tonight. We had our first homeschool field trip today and it was awesome, but this evening something horrifying happened.
Please, KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON YOUR KIDS! Tonight at the McDonalds a homeless woman grabbed Lucas told him to come with her and tried to walk out with him. I was right there and grabbed him out of her arms, while Jon came over and told her to get her hands off him. The police were called but she was gone. But it only takes a second people, it happened so fast and even with me watching and walking towards her as I saw her approaching Lucas (I mean I was so close I could hear her telling him to come with her, I was just telling Jon we were sitting in the high top which was right next to the register) I couldn’t believe what was happening. I shudder to think if I had my back turned getting ketchup or a straw and she had those extra seconds to get out the door. Seriously. I am still shaking.
So forgive me. I will get it posted tomorrow but I need to call it a night. I am just too shaken to write or even think. Praise to God for protecting my baby.
My little dude is soooo onto me when I try to give him greens with dinner. It doesn’t stop me, but he never eats them. With breakfast we offer a fruit, which he usually eats, and with lunch and dinner we also offer a fruit and some kind of veggie. But he never eats them!
Two nights ago Lucas woke from his sleep and asked me to snuggle him. I tucked him back in bed, and wrapped him in my arms. He let out a huge sigh, interlocked his fingers in mine and whispered “Mama” in that sweet angel baby voice, that at 4, has almost been replaced with his preschooler inquisitive and matter-of-fact talk.
I laid there with him taking it all in, tears rolled down my cheeks as I knew this was a moment to cherish. The smell of his freshly washed hair and skin was intoxicating and I thought to myself this moment, and other moments like this one, that’s when it is worth it. Don’t get me wrong – it is always worth it. But those precious moments, the ones you can make a Hallmark commercial for, that’s when I feel most appreciated, most loved, most cherished.
Wow, the day has come and gone. I have an 18 year old. When my sister came to live with us at 12, I was 26 and Jon was 27. We had been married for 4 years but Jon and I have been together since we were 19 and 20, so he knew Anastacia since she was 4. NEVER did we think she would become apart of our family, as in one of our kids.
When she was born I was 14 and I loved her so much, and at night I would pray that we would be close no matter our age difference. But I moved out at 17 and we did drift apart. I took her out to the movies and to the beach and I spoiled her rotten with gifts on birthdays and holidays, but it is not the same as living with your sibling. But little did we know God had other plans.
We just got back from a mini family vacation. Jon’s parents took us to the beach for three days and we had a suite next to theirs, right on the beach. This girl was in heaven. It was especially nice because the kids would just head over to their suite to hang out, eat cookies and dig in the sand with them. Jon and I took our first nap together, without the kids, since we have had kids. It was absolutely divine.
I did not take ANY pictures on the first two days (I use my phone for pics most times and rarely bring my camera). I left my phone in the room and only checked it twice a day. It made a huge difference. I felt so connected – to real life!
Summer. We have looked forward to it since January. We planned this year, saving a nice chunk from each check to maintain bills through August (wow did it hurt!). And now it is here. And we are enjoying it.
This is the first year since Jon has been a teacher (8 years!) that he has not taught summer school or done anything outside of the home for work. I am still working (thankfully my job is at home), but getting my stuff done early so we can really enjoy.
So I am back at this blogging thing again and this time I plan to keep up with it. I just needed a break. I was struggling in life, even before I started this blog. For those who knew me, it was obvious. My work suffered, my relationships suffered. I suffered.
One of my favorite things about being a mother, the one thing I cherish most – snuggles. I can’t get enough. Every day I MUST snuggle my kids several times. I do it while playing with both of them, and I do it when I get that special individual time.
Usually Liam sleeps longer than Lucas, so when Lucas wakes up, we spend that time snuggling on the couch reading stories or talking. He likes to pretend he is Shrek, I am Fiona. We drink magic potion (my coffee, his milk) and we just talk. And I kiss him all over, and I kiss his special spot on the back of his sweet little neck while he giggles and asks for more. I can’t get enough.
I have been MIA for sometime now, and when my hosting renewal came, I almost let this site go. I was thisclose.
Back in October I wrote a post about being the mom my mother wanted to be. I have never been more clear-headed about my relationship with my mother (or lack there of) nor have I ever been more at peace with it. I fully stand by that post. But what got to me was finding out she read my blog. There I said it! It creeped me out!
She has never met my kids, nor will she ever and it is hard for me to deal with her learning about them on this site. I know it is funny, strangers read this site, but I know I want to protect my kids from her. Does that make sense?
But I have had time to think about it, really think about it and I have decided that I have allowed her to hold me back from so much and I will not give her that power in my adult life. I will not stop something I love, something that has made me who I am and something I am passionate about. I am passionate about being a mother, practicing Attachment Parenting and I am passionate about my children. I want to share that! I want to help others find themselves. I want to show mothers (and fathers, but I believe mothers are harder on themselves) that no matter what kind of situation you had growing up, no matter what kind of mother you had for an example, you can be better. You can be the mother you want to be, the mother you wish you had.
You will fall, you will fail, but…when you know better, you do better.
So once again I am picking up the pieces. It is a process, overcoming all those emotions and stresses. But I will build this site up in hopes of building a community full of support, respect, and fun parenting!
So I gave the site a makeover and I am coming back strong. I can’t wait to let go of this weight and just move forward. Completely this time.
Thanks for the support!
So I have been MIA… Again. The problem is this – I work online for a living. I do content management for a few celebrity and parenting sites and then I also run my Social Media Consulting and web design business, which we are just starting and trying to build.
I work hard but I also need family time. I am with the kids all day but I also feel it is important for us to all have a few hours together at night. That leaves me working till 1, 2, 3 am and man, I get burned out. I love this site – it is my passion, and I do hope to build it up. So please bare with me!